Essay: So You Have a College Degree?
by Pappy November 1st, 2007, Posted in: Business
My dander is up this morning.
We have this new “analyst” the Chief Financial Officer of the company decided to hire to examine our numbers. From the day he was hired, he got under people’s skins asking incredibly stupid questions, making poor asumptions about what was “wrong” with the business, etc..
But he has a Masters degree in international business from the Thunderbird School of International Business; so prestigious an institution that I bet you’ve heard of it too? He has a paper that says he is supposed to know what he is doing. He are smart. The man loves his paper so much that he put it in a frame. Not so unusual, many people with degrees like to frame them and decorate their walls. But this guy framed it and placed it at the front of his desk, propped up so you had to look over the top of it to see him. Like I said, he are smart and he want you to know he are smart…
Before I finish my tale, let’s examine some of American Heritage Dictionary’s definitions for intelligence:
in-tel-li-gence (noun)
a. The capacity to acquire and apply knowledge
b. The faculty of thought and reason
c. Superior powers of the mind.
A college degree proves you can acquire knowledge. It says you have good enough short term retention that you can answer some tests about it. Upper level degrees are supposed to have requirements to ensure you have the ability to recognize context within your area of specialty and apply said knowledge. It has been my experience, on the other hand, that once somebody has that degree in hand, all reasons for pursuing it are dropped, and their thoughts turn immediately to using it to justify a nice salary so they can pay off their student loans. Take someone with some practical life and job experience and send them to college however, and you will see a person that learns from the standpoint of practical applicability from day one. They will know the right questions to ask their academic superiors. They will retain.
So, enough espousing on my part, lets get back to what really set me off today, shall we?
Our moron with a mail-order MBA comes into the IT shop and asks one of our systems admins to explain to him why the “Month to Date” numbers for October and “Quarter to Date” numbers are identical.
For those of you who may have never dealt with corporate finances before, most companies operate on calendar quarters; meaning 1st quarter runs from January to March, second quarter from April to June, third quarter from July to September, and fourth quarter from October to December. If you are in the first month of a new quarter, the numbers for the two will always be identical. It is corporate finance 101. It is so simplistic, and so essential to understanding and reading these values that almost anyone, finance department or not, degree or not, knows this instinctively.
And our guy, this “expert” they brought in, has to come to the Information Technology department to get it explained to him. Oh yeah, he’s a bright one.
In conclusion, can I please, please, please beg of you: if you want to pursue a college degree, please do so. But not until you’ve done some grunt work. Get an apprenticeship in the industry you wish to work in. Work in the mail room, sweep the floors, do whatever you have to do to get your foot in the door first. Then ask questions. Let those around you know you are deeply interested in understanding the business. You’ll be surprise how many of us will take the time to explain it to you and mentor you into the real way things work. You’ll also be surprised at how many of the most knowledgeable people in that business carry no degrees at all. When you do finally go pursue that degree you’ll immediately be able to ask meaningful questions of your professors. You’ll know the difference between what they teach you in school and how the real world works (believe me there are many.)
Just don’t become yet another moron with a mail-order MBA.
